


Kitchen Clashes

by kriidsedovah



Category: Naruto
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon, Awkward Encounters, F/F, Fluff, Implied Sexual Content, Kitchens, Potential Mugging, Roommates, Too Rare Send it Back to the Chef, rarepair
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-19
Updated: 2016-08-19
Packaged: 2018-08-09 17:34:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,145
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7810963
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kriidsedovah/pseuds/kriidsedovah
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"In her defense, Tenten didn’t usually pry into the details of a girl’s living situation when she was three fingers deep."</p>
<p>In which Tenten finally gets to sleep over at her new girlfriend's house but is unprepared for the roommate she meets. The rarest of rarepairs, enjoy at your leisure.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Kitchen Clashes

**Author's Note:**

> wow uh  
> i swear this started as a joke?? but here we are  
> anyway this is 2k for a punchline, whoops, but whatever, this is just another iteration of the "everybody in Naruto is gay" crusade, in which Tamaki and Kiba canonically live together but obviously they're both gay so it's not like they could be together, hahahahaha  
> if anyone reads this i'll be shocked, so thanks for dropping by

In her defense, Tenten didn’t usually pry into the details of a girl’s living situation when she was three fingers deep. In fact, she rarely pried at all; shinobi were private people, and even if Tamaki was a shopkeeper and not a proper kunoichi, she’d grown up around them in the same way that all of them had, and those kinds of habits rubbed off. Sure, she’d noticed the dog smell when she came in, but it was offset by the equally strong cat smell, so she’d put it up to Tamaki being an animal lover and pushed it aside in favor of grabbing her new flame by the waist and pushing her against the wall in the hallway to kiss the living daylights out of her. This was their third date, which wasn’t Tenten’s usual style. It wasn’t like she didn’t want to settle down, but she’d been on the dating scene for a while now and she was starting to lose hope. She blamed it on her terrible, terrible team with their antics and the encouragement by their equally crazy sensei. Most people were just…boring, now, which is why she’s always grateful for the way Tamaki came into her life. She always thought back to the first time they met with fondness.

Tenten had sighed at another lonely night in her favorite shinobi bar and knocked back another shot. Then, across the room, she’d seen her. Tenten was, like all shinobi- well, _most_ \- a highly observant person. She was trained to look for things that would be missed by the average observer, subtle differences in behavior, dress, even posture and speech. Picking out a civilian amongst a group of highly trained ninja was nothing. Of course, Tenten also made use of this skill to look out for the most beautiful girls in the area when she went bar hopping, but hey, two birds with one stone, right?

She’d seen the hair first. It was _long,_ long like Neji’s but a soft chestnut color, with highlights of auburn that caught the light when she pushed it back over her shoulder to laugh. She was dressed in orange, too, and though Tenten knew of one particularly obvious idiot who liked to wear that color, this was a more subdued, comforting shade, like the color of falling leaves in autumn. She was laughing and talking with some male shinobi who was clearly attempting to press an advantage he did not have. Tenten took in the slight strain in the smile, the fake laughter, and the fact that she kept glancing over his shoulder at another cute kunoichi at the bar, and Tenten made her decision. She slapped her tab down on the table and made her way through the crowd.

The guy was in the middle of telling a bad joke when Tenten slid in and curled her arm around the shoulders of the hapless civilian girl. “Hey, darling, there you are!” She shot a grin at first the bewildered girl and then at the shinobi guy, whose face had fallen the moment she’d shown up. “Did you make a new friend?” Tenten kept her tone polite and interested, unthreatened. The tense shoulders under her hand relaxed a fraction.

“Ah, y-yes! This is-” the girl started. The man waved a lazy hand, cutting her off.

“I was just leaving, in fact. Sorry to disrupt your night.” He nodded at the both of them and walked off. Tenten waited until he was out of sight before heaving a sigh and moving around to the seat the spurned shinobi had just vacated. She turned a sheepish grin on the girl.

“Sorry about that. I just saw you and thought-“ Tenten was interrupted by the girl dissolving into giggles. She had a loud, raucous laugh that drew the attention of those nearby. She slapped a hand over her mouth to muffle her amusement. Tenten grinned at her and felt that telltale lurch in her stomach as she did so. Maybe the night wasn’t a bust after all.

“Did you see his face?” the girl gasped when she had enough breath to speak. “He just- he really thought he was actually _getting somewhere,_ and then you-“ she dissolved into laughter again. Her eyes matched her hair, Tenten noticed distantly, trying to wrestle with the realization that she had a huge crush on this girl within thirty seconds of meeting her.

“So, uh-“ Tenten rubbed the back of her head. “I’m Tenten, nice to meet you.”

“Just Tenten?”

“Ah, who needs last names in this day and age?” Tenten waved a hand. The girl smiled.

“Well, Tenten, I guess we’re in agreement. I’m Tamaki.” She bobbed her head. “Thank you for helping me. I wasn’t sure how to…let him down easy.”

“And is the reason for that the one I’m hoping for?” Tenten asked, grinning. She always felt honesty was the best policy, when it came to these things.

“Oh? So you just came over here to snag a date for yourself, huh?”

“Huh? No! I just, I mean-“

Tamaki laughed again and held out her hand. “Well, you got one. Come on!”

It was a very good night for the both of them. They went back to Tenten’s place and talked for hours, so much that Tenten didn’t even care whether or not they had sex.

The sex was incredible, though.

On their second date they got mugged. Despite the fact that Konoha was a literal village full of people who knew more ways to kill a man using only a paperclip, some people still liked to try their luck, either with or without jutsu. They had the misfortune to run into one of the latter, but Tenten hadn’t become a jounin based on her looks. She had a scroll out and was fully prepared to pin the fucker to the nearest wall with deadly weapons when, from the darkness, two angry, hissing shapes emerged. They tackled the would-be mugger to the ground with relative ease and set about beating the living daylights out of him with a great deal of yowling and obscenities thrown by the criminal.

Tenten relaxed from her protective stance by a fraction, lowering her arm where she’d thrown it out in front of Tamaki to keep her back. The struggles of the criminal lessened, and when the fight was over there were two cats sitting on the chest of the mugger. Tenten opened her mouth. She closed it again. She turned to look at Tamaki, but she was already pushing past Tenten’s half-lowered arm to plant her feet and glare at the cats.

“Denka, Hina! Didn’t I tell you not to worry about me?”

Oh, so she was acquainted with the cats. Somewhat mollified, Tenten folded her arms over her scroll and tried to smother her grin as Tamaki gave the offended-looking cats- ninneko, actually, Tenten learned- a dressing-down.

“But, Tamaki, you know Nekomata told us to-“

“I don’t _care_ what the big furball said, you don’t have to baby me! I’m not a kitten anymore!”

“Clearly not,” the smaller of the two cats pointed out. Her ears were perpetually folded over. Both cats had the kanji for “truth” written on their clothing. “In fact, we intervened specifically because you were attacked-“

“Tenten was here! She’s a _jounin,_ she could’ve handled it. Right, Tenten?” Tamaki whirled to face a startled Tenten, her tone shifting from enraged to pleading in half a second. Tenten blinked.

“Uh, yeah, of course-“

“See!” Tamaki spun back to face the ninneko and folded her arms. “I don’t need you _stalking me,_ I’m fine. Besides, you taught me some tricks yourselves, remember? This is Konoha, there’s nothing to be worried about.”

The larger cat flicked his tail in an apparent dismissal. “Nekobaa would have us protect you,” he said, softly. Tamaki stiffened.

“Don’t use that on me. That’s a low blow and you know it!” Tamaki turned away from all of them, then, and took a breath or two to calm herself. Tenten had no idea how to proceed in this situation, but she gave Tamaki a reassuring smile when she lifted her head, eyes red-rimmed but composed. Tamaki gave her a grateful look in return before she turned back to the two cat ninja.

“You’re doing what she asked of you, and I respect and appreciate that,” Tamaki said, voice soft. She reached out to them both, and they came closer and rubbed their faces on her hands, purring. “But don’t hide in the shadows and try to save me from the world, okay? Give me the chance to handle myself. And come by to visit, sometime!” she added, giving them both a light bump on the head with her hands. Both cats hunched their shoulders and nodded agreement. Tamaki reached out and gave them one last affectionate pat before straightening up. “Now, can you two handle getting this man to the proper authorities?”

Both cats nodded. “Leave it to us, Tamaki!” they chorused, and disappeared in a puff of white smoke, taking the mugger with them. In the ensuing silence, Tenten cleared her throat.

“So…I thought you said you weren’t a kunoichi?”

Tamaki winced. “I’m…not,” she sighed. “My grandmother was, at one point. She was contracted with Nekomata and the ninneko. I’m her granddaughter and was raised around them, so as an act of respect, they still protect me. Even though we disagree on exactly how _much_ protection is needed…” She glared at the empty street where the cats and their victim had been.

Tenten offered a grin and dismissed her scroll. “Well, I’d say you handled that pretty well. You could’ve shouted that guy into submission, no problem.”

Tamaki cast a sharp eye in her direction, which made Tenten hold up her hands in surrender. Tamaki sniffed and flipped her hair over her shoulder.

“Sass, is it? Well, fine, see if I bring out the toys this time.”

“What?” Tenten gaped at Tamaki’s retreating back. “H-hey, wait up! What toys, you never said anything about toys!”

Tamaki’s laughter ringing through the streets was her only response.

 

So now it was their third date, and Tenten was making breakfast in the kitchen. She had left her hair down this morning, because Tamaki said she thought it was pretty that way, and every now and then, while she mixed batter and dug through the fridge for blueberries, Tenten would put a hand up to feel the soft, fluffy strands between her fingers and smile.

Now, Tamaki _had_ told Tenten she had a roommate, and Tenten _could_ sense another chakra signature in the other room, but it was fuzzy because of all the animal chakra, and she was pleasantly exhausted after their activities last night. Tamaki’s bed was much bigger and more comfortable than Tenten’s single mattress, a fact that they put to good use. Tenten found that she enjoyed waking up before Tamaki and watching the sun drift through the open window and cast beams of light across Tamaki’s sleeping face, lighting her as if from the inside. After staring her fill, Tenten had gotten out of bed soundlessly and found her way to the kitchen. She wasn’t a cook, but Tenten made some mean blueberry pancakes, and it was the least she could do, really. Ensconced in these thoughts, and with her guard down, Tenten figured she could be excused the undignified squawk she let out when a cold, wet nose pressed into her lower back.

“Boof?” someone asked her.

“The hell- Akamaru?!” Tenten whirled in shock, only to find the aging, but still enormous dog standing in the kitchen. His big tail was wagging slowly, and he put his paws on the counter on either side of Tenten in order to lick her face with his tongue.

“Agh, you nasty old man! Your dog breath is terrible!” Tenten pushed Akamaru off with some difficulty and stared at him, slow realization dawning. “Wait, if you’re here, then that means…”

“Tenten?”

Tenten raised her eyes to meet the shocked gaze of none other than Kiba Inuzuka, standing in the doorway with sleep-mussed hair. They stared at each other.

“Rowf?” Akamaru added helpfully.

It all made sense now, Tenten realized with an inward groan. The dog smell, the way Tamaki hadn’t let Tenten come over the first few times because her roommate was “kind of a suspicious guy, you know how shinobi are,” the fact that the other chakra signature wasn’t fuzzy because of the animals but because it _resembled_ animal chakra…

“Oh, hey Kiba.” Tamaki chose that moment to appear then, clad in nothing but a t-shirt and wiping the sleep from her eyes. She took in the scene, the dripping whisk in Tenten’s hand, their unmoving stances, Akamaru’s happy panting in the middle of the kitchen. “So, uh, I guess you guys know each other?”   

 


End file.
